JOIN THE ALTERNATE REALITY NEWS SERVICE'S SUMMER OF LOVE!
It's crazy out there. No, really crazy. Crazier than we can imagine. And, we have pretty vivid imaginations when it comes to the crazy. When this affects your relationship with your life mate, your offspring, your other family members, your auto mechanic or your AI-enhanced toaster oven, it can be hard to know what to do. When relationships get so confusing that the federal tax code starts to make sense, who can you turn to for advice?
The Alternate Reality News Service's two advice columns, of course: Ask Amritsar and Ask The Tech Answer Guy. Award aspiring columnist Amritsar Al-Falloudjianapour is not a trained therapist, but she does know a lot of stuff about love and romance and technology and stuff. The Tech Answer Guy, two-time runner-up for the Nobel Prize for Used Tissue Paper Art, answers questions about technology and anything other than love and romance. It's a thing with him. Don't ask. The first collection of their columns, The Alternate Reality News Service's Guide to Love, Sex and Robots, will be available in paperback on September 1st.
You could win an autographed copy of the Guide to Love, Sex and Robots. Simply submit a question to either of the columns by August 31st, 2013. People who submit the five best questions as selected by our panel of judges (made up of the Proprietor of the Alternate Reality News Service, Ira Nayman, and...umm...maybe other people...maybe even celebrities - you never know - stranger things have happened...) will win a copy of the book. Even if your question doesn't win, it may be featured in a future column and book, with your name displayed for posterity. And, the blame.
You don't have to be familiar with the advice columns, but, like making sure the switch is in the off position before sticking your head in the large hadron collider, it couldn't hurt. If you'd like to read a sample to get a feel for what they are like, try: "Ask Amritsar: Holiday Dinners App-en [ARNS]" (http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca/index.phtml?pg=10&chap=3385) or "Ask the Tech Answer Guy About the Truth Behind the Euphemism [ARNS]. (http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca/index.phtml?pg=10&chap=3359)" If you need more examples (or want to read more advice columns - some people get off on other people's misery - hey! - we're not judging...much), just go to the list of New Articles (http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca/index.phtml?pg=10) and read anything that starts with "Ask Amritsar" or "Ask the Tech Answer Guy." Oh, and feel free to read anything else that catches your attention. That's what it's there for.
If you are inspired to write something, send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Your questions don't have to be elaborate; a sentence or two is fine. They just have to inspire Amritsar or The Tech Answer Guy.
The Alternate Reality News Service: If you don't like this reality, try another one!